OVER 16 years ago, when Cathy's son was just 18, he started talking about wanting to move out and have a home of his own. This is totally normal, children leave the nest. It's the way in which everyone develops, grows and experiences new stuff, establish new friendships on their terms, make mistakes, learn from them and develop their own autonomy and independence. The challenge for Cathy and her family was that their son has a severe physical disability, which also impacts his speech, and he is confined to a motorized wheelchair. Whilst he does not have an intellectual disability, naturally his reliance on support is enormous. For Cathy, as a mother, she could not see how a move from the family home could be possible. Then she heard of Belonging Matters, a disability support not-for-profit organisation, and attended a number of workshops. Cathy was amazed at the inspirational, real-life stories of people with disabilities, both physical and intellectual, achieving 'the dream' to move on from living with their parents. It was evident when she listened to the stories. There were so many benefits that showed the personal growth and sense of ownership people with a disability had over their lives. Amazingly, despite the obvious hurdles, it was made possible. Cathy realised that it was more about her fear, as a parent, that held the possibilities at bay. Cathy's son was eager and ready to move and with Belonging Matters’ advice, gradually over 12 months she developed the confidence needed to assist her son to pursue this 'typical' transition of 'leaving the nest.' He has now been living independently for 14 years, with support as required, but it's now on his terms, in his own home, making his own decisions and being all that he can be as just another member of our diverse community - as it should be. Given Cathy's son’s needs, another fear that overshadowed her parenting was "what will happen when we pass away". Being constantly under her care, the worries of his future without her were daunting. But now 14 years on, he is not only safe and secure but happily living the life he wants. He’s established new networks and is more fully in charge of his life. Cathy and her family no longer fear the future and enjoy the freedoms that other parents come to expect when the children move on. Cathy said they are in contact always but the situation is 'typical'. Cathy would strongly recommend attending the workshop My Home, My Way held by Belonging Matters - even if you can't see 'the possibilities' at the moment. In fact 'particularly' if you can't see the possibilities. Of course it's not 'one size fits all' and it’s important to tailor to personal need. Belonging Matters is hosting a workshop in Wangaratta at Wangaratta Performing Arts and Convention Centre on Tuesday, 29 May from 9:15am to 4:30pm to explore individualised and innovative ways people with intellectual disability and autism can be supported to create a home of their own while getting the support they need to thrive.
