Wangaratta's Paul Maher is increasingly understanding the importance of "speaking the unspoken" when it comes to sexual assault and institutional abuse. And as National Survivors' Day (10 November) approaches, the former primary school teacher and principal is sharing his lived experience in the hope not only of empowering himself, but supporting the journeys of others. "This is another step on my road to surviving," he said. "This will be the first National Survivors Day I have recognised, which just shows how lost people can be in terms of what to do in this situation, and why I want to advocate on my behalf, but also to help other people heal." National Survivors' Day aims to recognise and commemorate the courage and journeys of survivors of sexual assault and institutional abuse, their supporters, and whistle-blowers across Australia. Initiated by the National Survivors' Foundation in 2022, it encourages people to wear multi-coloured ribbons demonstrating solidarity and recognition, or to tie ribbons to places of prominence, as well as acknowledging survivors via social media. Paul said healing from or surviving historical trauma "does not mean that we ever forget it". "National Survivors' Day is not just another day - it can become a vehicle for survivors to speak, to share their stories, and to encourage more conversations about this awful stain on our country," he said. "The stories will be difficult to hear, but they must be told, desensitised and de-sanitised, because if we omit parts of the stories for fear of disturbing people's sensibilities, then we actually shield the perpetrators from the shame and blame for which they should be held to account." Paul was just 16 and 17 when he was groomed and sexually abused by a teacher at his school, Trinity College Colac in the Diocese of Ballarat. The man, Kevin Wilmore Myers, was a science teacher and rowing coach when he abused Paul and other Trinity students - although Paul was unaware until decades later that he had not been the only one. When rumours began to circulate about his offending at the school, Myers was allowed to resign, and continued his abuse elsewhere, including while working as a chef. In 2020, Myers was sentenced, aged 74, to 15 years in jail for the historic child sexual abuse offences, which took place in the 1980s and '90s. Paul, whose family relocated to Kyabram as concerns were raised about Myers, disclosed his abuse in 2018, "unlocking a vault" he had kept closed for 36 years, after being contacted by a detective investigating the offending. Then followed a three-year criminal case, in which Myers pleaded guilty to 12 charges involving nine victims, and a two-and-a-half year civil case. During this time, Paul - who had previously led, taught and been involved in Catholic school and church communities in Wangaratta, Yarrawonga, Euroa and Chiltern, and coached seniors, reserves and thirds football sides at Wangaratta Rovers, as well as the Ovens and Murray league's under 19s - said the losses he suffered were immense. "I lost all confidence; I lost all self-respect; I lost my faith, my connection to church and my colleagues, and my trust in people; I lost my connection to my footy club, my mates, my community; I resigned from my job; I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and needed significant psychological support and medication; it had a significant financial impact; I was mentally, emotionally and physically spent," he said. "I had lost my identity." Liz, who met Paul when the pair were both teaching at Wangaratta's St Patrick's Primary School in the late 1980s, said for her and the couple's daughters Sarah and Emily, it had been "incredibly difficult and heartbreaking to witness the profound and devastating impact this has had, and continues to have, on Paul". "I have immense love and respect for the courage and strength he has shown and continues to show," she said. "If National Survivors Day is the way Paul wants to have a voice, then the girls and I support it wholeheartedly." Paul said he felt compelled to do and say something about "the disturbing levels of disrespect in our community today, often leading to abuse: verbal, physical, emotional and sexual". He said he was frustrated to hear during an ABC interview given by Minister for Social Services Tanya Plibersek in mid-October that evidence suggests domestic violence and sexual assault are still significantly under-reported. "Too often, the success of predatory behaviour is reinforced by the 23.9 years, on average, of 'blocking it out' before disclosing or reporting," he said. "Such was the power of my shame, that it took 36 years." Paul said he was grateful for the strong support of his immediate and extended family, as well as that extended by friends, including those he knew from his football involvement. He was supported by daughter Emily in his re-engagement with the Wangaratta Rovers, when he took on a game-day role recording statistics, with her presence at his side giving him the courage to return to the setting. Paul said he had tried to be pro-active in his healing, and had explored many ways to deal with his experience and its impact, also supported by caring and committed local health care providers. His work towards healing has included working with the Victorian Independent Education Union to include a new clause in the most recent agreement to acknowledge and provide support to victims of historical sexual abuse. Paul is also working to reconnect with Catholic education, by encouraging the embracing of National Survivors' Day, and engaging in the "hard conversations" that provide the human voice to the safeguarding measures implemented. "And it was only recently, through the advice and encouragement of my daughter Sarah, that I considered I may be able to achieve more in helping others by contacting the National Survivors Foundation (NSF) about how I can use my voice and lived experience to help others," he said. Paul said his goals for a meaningful future included supporting the NSF and promoting the themes of National Survivors' Day - collaborate, commemorate, educate - through schools, the Catholic diocesan office, sporting clubs and other organisations. "There are days when I'm not sure whether I'm a victim or a survivor, but on days when I'm focused on these things, I feel more like a survivor," he said. National Survivors' Day will be held on Tuesday, 10 November. * If this media article causes you any distress, please phone Lifeline on 131 114 or the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467.
