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Lily Purss took first place in the years 7/8/9 story category of the Wangaratta Young Writers Award with this piece. The competition is run annually by the Rotary Club of Appin Park Wangaratta and the Rotary Club of Wangaratta, and is supported by the Wangaratta Library.
"Have you ever thought about how it feels to die?"
I glanced over at her, awaiting an answer, awaiting approval that it wasn't a nonsense question to ask.
"Have you?" she questioned, giggling, a typical response, classic of Dawn to follow a question with one of her own.
"I was thinking about it the other day after Mr Quintyre went on a tangent about how death is near and that hell is a dark pit that brings anguish to all," I replied, sighing.
Dawn remained silent for a moment, salty waves rolled beneath our feet, tickling our toes with every small step. As they crashed against the nearby rocks, water splashed upwards like tiny, flickering embers floating into the horizon.
"You don't need to worry, Danny, if you were to die, you certainly wouldn’t find yourself in Mr Quintyre's outrageous imaginary hell," she laughed, tightening her grip on my hand. "You would be engulfed by the clouds, a beam of sunlight would direct you upon the finest path to heaven, a place filled with yellow marigolds, and golden retrievers galore," she exclaimed, unable to erase the addictive smile plastered across her face. Caving, I released a small chuckle.
"Why golden retrievers?" I questioned, halting our walk, I kicked at the sand before sitting down, glancing to my left, I beckoned Dawn to sit alongside me.
"Because I think they are the most noble, gentle-spirited creatures to grace this planet, and that is as certain as the heart's next beat!" she exclaimed, using my hand to navigate her way to the floor.
"Do you think that opinion of yours may be biased towards the fact that your own dog is a golden retriever?"
"Shut up, you love Oakley. Now, please be quiet, I'm attempting to listen to the ocean; however, all I can hear is your negativity," she huffed.
"You're right, I do adore Oakley," I said, again admitting defeat. Dawn repositioned her body, leaning her head into the nook of my shoulder. Her skin was warm, as if sunlight had been woven into her flesh, the steady beat of her heart boomed like a hidden orchestra, each note creating a melody of pure joy.
"Shhh, listen," she whispered, and so I did.
I listened to the sound the waves made as they clumsily tumbled over each other, the sounds of the wind as it whistled its way through the trees, and the sound of Dawn’s snuffled breathing, familiar, and unwavering, allowing me a moment of pure serenity. She squeezes my hand in three short bursts, whilst unspoken the words were as unmistakable as a lighthouse in the fog, I love you, and so I squeeze back, because I do too.
Going anywhere with Dawn feels like travelling within a small bubble of joy that continues to grow and capture others. With every smile at a passing stranger, every small burst of laughter, every simple act she does, like stopping to admire a collection of hydrangeas in someone's front garden, the bubble expands, her happiness is contagious, and that is something I have always admired. Dawn has this, almost magical, gift with people and words, she makes people feel seen, she makes people feel alive through her positivity.
I glanced over at her, twirling around, Oakley following her every move, her curls bouncing wildly. I lowered myself to sit on the freshly-mowed lawn. My heart seized as I feel a sense of pride strike through me, the lullaby from the birds above rang through the air, a melody sweeter than sugar itself. I slowed my breathing and absorbed everything around me, taking a moment to truly appreciate everything, even things regarded as insignificant, things like the way the grass sways against the breeze, things I would usually completely disregard.
I allow myself to think like Dawn, watching a passing stranger pour the remaining drops of their water bottle onto the nearby orchids, granting them, even if only for a fleeting moment, relief from the merciless sun above. Oakley bounds over, greeting me with a slobbery golden kiss. Not far behind is Dawn, chasing Oakley’s leash, which is now tangled around his legs.
“He’s far too quick for me, aren't you boy?” she wheezed with exertion.
Oakley’s mouth curled into a proud grin, his eyes sparkling with a quiet triumph, still panting, he rolled down onto the grass, laying his head in my lap.
"I'd call that a well-deserved rest," I smiled down at Oakley, and then back at Dawn.
Sighing in defeat, she stroked Oakley between the ears before running her hands through my hair.
I found myself slipping into her ocean eyes, where rippling hues of blue drew me deeper with their silent call.
Eagerly, Dawn dashed towards the increasing crowd, her floral dress swaying with the wind. The sun bled across the horizon, its dying light smearing the clouds.
"Please, will you ride the ferris wheel with me, Danny?" she practically begged, tugging at my sleeve.
My feet moved in time with hers, the rhythm so sure she didn't need to look back. I knew, in that moment, I would follow her anywhere, to the edge of the world, through the darkest depths of the sea, and up the highest mountain’s peak, without hesitation, if only she asked.
The ferris wheel creaked softly as we swung higher into the sky, the people below us in line fading down to nothing but miniature talking ants. Dawn turned to me, a strand of her golden curls stuck to her lip-gloss. Laughing, she turned to face the ocean, the last light of the sun framing her face, she truly was effortlessly beautiful. Her laughter caused an ache in my chest, a feeling I couldn't describe, but one I longed for, and one I experienced constantly when in her company.
"Look at the sky Danny," she gasped, pointing towards the horizon where the sky caught fire, painting the world shades of coral, violet and burnt orange, a final blaze of fire before night engulfed the universe. "It’s like the whole world is made of fire, and honey!"
I nodded, however, my eyes were fixated on her.
"I really admire the way you see things, Dawn. You’re the most observant person I’ve ever met."
Her cheeks shifted into a rosy pink, and her smile widened, causing her cheeks to dimple.
"I like to think that everything matters, no matter how small. I think there's a lot of beauty in looking at something often regarded as ordinary, and viewing it for what it truly is, extraordinary," she declared confidently, yet her tone remained soft.
For a moment, I wondered if we could stay up in the clouds forever, if the ferris wheel could stop, and Dawn and I could forever stay cuddled within each other's warm embrace as the chill of the wind slices at our bare arms. For a movement, everything below and beyond doesn't exist. Only us, the sun, and that golden, endless sky.
Chasing her down to the docks, sand flew through the air, kicked up from my feet, spraying into the sky like bursts of light from a small firework. Finally, we slowed to a stop, taking a seat on the edge, our toes dangling just above the waves. The nearby seagulls released low, piercing calls, before moving onto another group of people further up the coast. Dawn reaches over and grabs my hand, tracing her fingers over the outlines on my palm, and then the veins in my wrist, sending a tickling sensation through my body. Her hair blows wild and free like her spirit. I grab a strand covering her eyes and tuck it behind her ear, revealing her freckled, smiling face; however, it is no use, and the hair escapes within seconds, dancing with the wind.
"Daniel, I think you may have become my favourite person," she said, releasing a small laugh.
"You think?" I questioned, teasingly.
“No, sorry, I should have worded that better. I don't think so, I know so. Daniel Ashford, you are my favourite person!” she declared, yelling out into the ocean.
With a sheepish smile, she turned to face me, wrapping her fingers through mine. With her other hand, she pulled out a small yellow notecard from her purse and handed it to me, nodding as a signal to unfold it. The note card had five short words written in her neat, bubbly handwriting: 'I’m proud of you, always.'
"Just a reminder from me, I thought you could keep it with you everywhere you go, that way I’ll always be with you," she whispered, her cheeks rosy and golden from the reflection of the water.
She smiled, yet her expression looked pained, almost sorrowful. Eyes that usually sparkled like stars in the abyss of the night sky, turned glossy, tears threatening to tumble down.
"What's wrong, Dawn? Are you okay?" I grabbed her, pulling her close, attempting to shield her from any force that dared cause her pain. She was lighter in my arms, and almost cold. Tears trickled down my shoulder, tumbling down to the pier, staining the wood.
"I am so sorry Danny, but I can't stay any longer. You need to do this on your own," she sobbed.
Confused, I lifted her chin, forcing her to face me. The realisation didn't hit me until her golden curls began to blend amongst the background, her tears left slimy, snail-like trails down her face.
"Daniel, it's been over a year now. I believe in you, you really can do this," she cried, her voice softer now as she tried to reassure me.
"What's the point in living this life if not with you? Please don't leave me Dawn," I pleaded, my throat constricting as I fought the urge to sob, to break, to finally crack.
Her hand gripped mine tighter as her colours began to dull into the background. Three short squeezes, this time she squeezed a fourth time.
"I love you, always," she whispered, seemingly breathless.
The weight of her hand in mine disintegrated.
"DAWN," I sobbed, frantic, breathless, hurting, desperately begging her to stay with me, to stay by my side forever.
Then she was gone, leaving me with nothing but memories fossilised, encased in amber, preserved, unreachable, and suffocatingly golden, just like her.
My mind flashed back to the overwhelming darkness I had buried for over a year. Dawn had drowned in September last year, it was now January, and I still hadn't moved on. She was swept out in a rip in the ocean and strangled by the water she once referred to as her sanctuary. I looked out towards the sky, the sunset making a fool of me, reminding me that as one day ends, another is coming, and with every day, the pain of losing her is as fresh as the day she disappeared from my life forever. I reached down, chest tightening, to retrieve the yellow notecard.
'I'm proud of you, always,' I repeated the words, over and over in my head, her voice lingering.
Dawn had shown me many things, but most importantly, she taught me that even the messy, mundane days have beautiful endings. To her, sunsets were proof of this. Dawn, the epitome of sunshine, the light in not only my own, but everyone's lives, was gone. I traced the curve of the water with my eyes, my heart heavy with a loneliness I hadn't known existed before her. Breathing in the salty air, I swallowed hard, forcing myself to accept the inevitable truth. Dawn was gone, but behind, she had left fragments of herself everywhere, something I would carry with me, always. Staring out to the sky yet again, I now found comfort in the radiant colours that are often dismissed as merely beautiful, yet to me they carried her warmth, her generosity, and the silent echo of her love. Sunsets are a beautiful ending to a day, because Dawn is in them.





